Perhaps you’ve been there… it’s Sunday night and your little one isn’t doing well.  You’re in anguish over whether to take your kid to the Emergency Room or whether she can make it til the regular office hours on Monday.  One of the many things we love about Germany is not having to deal with this decision due to their universal health care.  Our monthly premium for our family of 5 is about $450 and covers EVERYTHING other than elective procedures.  Prescriptions are free as well.  No additional co pays, surprise fees or patient contributions.

We have had more experience with the German healthcare system than we ever thought we would.  Andrew alone has: fallen off the moped, fallen off the moped with Emma, fallen off his bike, had a car/bike accident, had bronchitis and allergy issues.  

His most serious injury was breaking his elbow which required surgery and daily physical therapy sessions.  For 8 weeks, he had 3-4 hour sessions which were in a city 30 minutes away, since then his sessions are in Neumarkt and are just 30 minutes 3x a week.  So much easier for the family!  Since the accident occurred while riding home from school, it's considered work-related and therefore falls into a different category for insurance.  In the emergency room, he even had to register at a specific Arbeitsunfaelle desk.


He stayed in the hospital for 5 days after the surgery, then was sent home. After having been 3 to a room, just being able to sleep in peace helped his recovery. To reduce the swelling when his cast came off, Andrew was instructed to slather Quark on his arm, not for the cooling affect of this refrigerated dairy product  (a cross between whey and cream cheese) but for Quark’s "well-known swelling fighting attributes."

  

We’ve encountered many wives’ tales which really seem to work – an onion slice on a wasp bite and tomato on a cold sore.  Regarding others, the jury is still out but we dare not question them because they enjoy such widespread acceptance.  After delivering Serena years ago in Northern Germany, a nurse put cabbage leaves on my breasts to counter engorgement!  Colicky babies, and even those who are not, are given tepid fennel tea.  No rice cereal either, babies go straight to strained potato or vegetables.  The treatment for a neighbor’s injured knee was diced hot chili peppers applied directly to the skin after it had been numbed.   A popular homemade cough remedy is a concoction of a pound of onions, water, sugar and honey.

Dental care here is very modern but the check-ups take some getting used to. Our first visit included the typical exam followed by a 4 minute cleaning.  Then he flossed one tooth! Andrew didn’t even get any flossing.  The anis flavored toothpaste didn’t exactly win raves with the kids.  For an additional fee of 50 Euros, you get a thorough cleaning.  I think we might just opt for that when we’re due next.   

Our routine visits to the Kinderartz (pediatrician) have also been interesting:  our doctor COMPLETELY dissuaded us from getting the flu shot.  Not all practices even had it available.  It is aimed only at the critically high risk – elderly and chronically ill and is basically “wasted” on the rest of society.  The office was fascinated by the American vaccination schedule and practice of just having it on a printout (which we were so proud that we had remembered to bring from Milwaukee!)  They have a slightly different schedule here requiring fewer jabs as there are more combo shots.  Bavaria is known as a hot zone as far as ticks are concerned so we jumped on the bandwagon and got the tick vaccination for the kids.  I even carry a handy tick remover in my purse.

At the Frauenartz (gynecologist), I was invited to hop up on the table (stationary stirrups were fixed in position).  Apparently, I had more difficulty than other patients scooching into position because the Dr. commented, “Na ja, vielleicht sind die deutsche Frauen athletischer!”  (Well, I guess German women are a little more athletic) !!! I was asked twice if I’d like a particular extra cancer detection test.  Yes, I thought, lucky me, socialized healthcare, I get a high tech cancer detection scan.  Turns out it was just a Pap smear.

Pregnant women are treated well – 14 weeks maternity leave (6 of which are before delivery – nesting would be much less frenzied if you’re getting paid to do it, right?) Mutterschaftsurlaub: up to 3 years in which you are paid to stay home with your kid(s).  Available to families for their children until formal education has been completed, Kindergeld is intended to relieve the financial burden of having children.  Note – there is no additional child deduction at tax time. We get just over 500 Euros a month.  Despite all these efforts, German women have children later - ¼ of all children born is to a mother older than 35—and they continually have fewer children resulting in a negative birthrate which is alleviated only by children-rich immigrant families.

Declan’s Kindergarten required proof of a well child check-up and current vaccinations in order to attend.  It was in Kindergarten that Declan had the Vorschuluntersuchung, exam for preschoolers.  They checked his hearing, vision, speech and cognitive skills.  It was determined that he couldn’t correctly pronounce /sh/ so his Schnitzel was Snitzel.  How did we never notice this?  So he started speech therapy and has already made progress. 

One common ailment here fascinates us... when someone is suffering from Kreislaufprobleme.  It's officially a problem with your circulation and is clearly a sign of your inability to work.  Does this exist in other countries?

According to the Xenophobe's Guide to Germany, "Virtually all Germans have health problems, and if they don't, there must be something wrong with them. Most of what ails them is stress related. No nation was ever more stressed, but this is understandable. After all, running Europe can take it out of you. The delicacy of the German constitution has long been recognized, and smoothly running systems put in place to keep it going. In the 1880s Bismarck set up a national health insurance scheme. Today that national health insurance underpins a vast and wonderful network of doctors, specialists, hospitals and spas. As with the French, the Germans devote enormous resources to the treatment of an illness that doesn't exist, the notorious Kreislaufstörung. While the rest of us go to meet our maker once our circulation stops, the Germans routinely recover from it and go on to lead useful and productive lives. Once they are good at it, they can have a Kreislaufstörung as often as twice a month without it seriously impairing their social life. Treatment for this frightening disease varies. However, it has been shown to respond positively to three weeks on a Greek beach. "

But the perks don’t end there:  Our insurance carrier, Barmer is running a 2 year pilot program for patients who live in areas without public transportation.  A bus will pick you up and take you to your doctor’s appointment!  At the pharmacy – if they don’t have your prescription on hand, it will be delivered to your house that same day for no extra charge!  The most fascinating thing about German health care has to be a Kur. This is basically an all-inclusive health wellness spa/therapy that caters to various ailments.  What American health insurance company would pay for you to relax your problems away for 4 weeks?  Hmm, maybe I do feel a little stressed out….