Unwritten rules

BBQ invitations usually include a BYO clause - you must bring your own meat, cutlery, plates, napkins and often beverages.  This Friday there's a school BBQ and you even have to bring your own buns! Faculty potlucks, church events, block parties, etc - you must bring your own dishes or improvise. Sometimes in school, they'll make soup or a fruit salad and Emma even had to bring her own cutting board and paring knife to help with the prep!

School - parents are simply informed about field trips, often just one day before, and no permission slip is involved.  On these days, the kids just come home whenever they return from the outing.  I found this out when Emma suddenly appeared on the doorstep one day last September-- in tears--demanding to know why I hadn't picked her up.... 45 mintues earlier than her normal dismissal time.  Kids are also released early on the last day before vacations, last two days of school, and seemingly at the teacher's discretion...  Luckily we live within walking distance!

Every couple of weeks there's some event and a call goes out to the good bakers of the neighborhood.  Bake sales are quite different here as it's really a Kuchen sale and you buy individual slices and eat it immediately from a real plate along with your cup of Kaffee.  "Disposable" is apparently a foreign word.

There are no plates of prepacked and labeled cookies, cupcakes or even brownies or anything in the "bar" family, just these fantastic, immensely time consuming tortes/cakes usually with fruit, nut or chocolate.

At the first one last fall, I still hadn't gotten the memo on how this all works and brought fruit kababs -- the ladies organizing the event clearly didn't know what to do with them.  They gave them away for free!

We've gotten several invations for Kaffee und Kuchen and it's understood that you'll come around 3, stay til 5 ish and have at least 2 pieces of cake.  The first piece is a Pflichtstück, obligatory piece, and all following pieces are to please your host (and your belly!) The cream is not overly sweet, nor the Kuchen itself generally.  We've enjoyed so many wonderful afternoons and are continually amazed at the variety these Germans come up with.  They take this cultural  practice and make presentation and serving into an art!  It's common practice to bring a little gift for the host, a box of chocolate, a potted plant, etc.  A few times when a few ladies were invited, we gave the hostess a group gift certificate.

Birthday Parties - We're so thankful that all 3 kids have been included at birthday parties.  We've noticed that short notice is not uncommon, some invitations arriving just 2-3 days before the party. Kids can register at stores and will note where their birthday basket is on the invitation and sometimes will even write on "ich wünsche mir Geld" I would like money. The mothers of the guests usually organize a group gift with each kid chipping in 5 Euros ($8). Once we all went in to buy a set of twins just one gift -- a globe.  Several times at pick-up, we've been surprised to learn that the kids were driven to a movie or to a petting zoo during the party.  In the US, the sequence of events was usually games, cake and presents.  Here we've observed that they often start with cake, then games/activity then finish up the party with a warmish meal like Wurst und Pommes. As in the US, most parties have themes, crafts and games.  I've certainly picked up some creative ideas for future parties!  To celebrate a birthday in school, very often a parent will come and make waffles for the kids or mini pizzas.  Yep, for his birthday Declan was the only one carrying in a big Tupperware of cupcakes!