Signs



This sign reminds drivers of the rechts vor links policy, in which the driver on the right gets to go first at an intersection - even if the person on the left was there first.   It doesn't matter if one person is going straight either. This means, at every uncontrolled intersection, you have to slow down and peer to the right just in case someone is coming. We shall not miss this when we leave!

Not only do the Germans provide plastic doggie doo doo baggies and a recepticle, they also make it rhyme!  Umwelt sauber und fein, Hundekot hier rein!

 Noncompliance will be persecuted

Hard of hearing?  Kein Problem!  Just BYO headphones to church and plug them in-- ingenius!

Cigarette vending machines on the street -- with the reminder of course that you must be 18 to make a purchase....right...

What information can I glean from our license plate?  Starting from the left - this vehicle is registered in the European Union, the D is for Deutschland, the NM is for Neumarkt, the KC stands for Klemens and Christina (our swap partners' first names).  The 500 is arbitrary.  You can personalize your plate for a mere 10.20 Euros but some letter combos are verboten such as HJ (Hitler Jugend) or KZ (Konzentrationslager.)

Who says the Germans don't have a sense of humor?  We love seeing this progression of signs along highway construction sites.

Made it!

Lady Bag - found in a restaurant's restroom

Spart da!  Play on words - Sparta and see where he's pointing?  That car rental agency is where you can spar - save money there!

Everyone clear on this?  You may only smoke in this designated area on the train platform.  Now who can tell the smoke?

The Aldi name may change, this one is in Austria, but the sign remains the same.

There seems to be some internal disagreements on Germany's educational policies, in which the states set many standards themselves, not the federal government.  This poster (on display at Andrew's school in the teacher's lounge) depicts what's apparently happening to education in the northernmost state, Schleswig-Holstein.

Schools with afternoon classes offer hot lunch complete with a Muslim - friendly menu.

This sign translates as "Ouch"

Where do you live?   "Over in Whore's Ditch."

   My Feces










Bacon!

   Testicle Harbor

Boob Village










   Vomit

Where is the Johann?


There are many stereotypes about Germans.  They are serious, hardworking, love their vacation and beer... and are quite direct.  A perfect example of this is their relationship to the bathroom.  No frivolous euphemisms are employed in referring to this most necessary room.  No loo, lavatory, restroom or commode.  No nose powdering or little girl's room.  The Germans get right to the point and say Toilette.  "Excuse me sir, where is your toilet?"  One person explained it so - why would I ask for the bathroom?  I don't need to take a bath?  Fair enough!  During our year here, we have encountered some interesting variations in the facilities:



This specimen's circumference is comparable to a basketball.  No lounging possible.  Do your business and move on.  Side grips prevent any shenanigans.

A stage is provided free of charge so you can admire your work before bidding farewell.






                                                            
                                                     I hope you have good aim...












As always, the energy conscience Germans offer two flushing options - for gross und klein (large and small deposits)







And what would a home Toilette be without a personal urinal?  We've seen many homes with a Herrentoilette or Pissoir.  Lid optional.

There is an unmistakeable cultural movement here to get gentlemen callers to sit when they're going klein.  Lots of bathrooms have reminders.

No standing!

 

Istanbul!

Greetings from Turkey - Merhaba!  Andrew and I were able to leave the kids with Andrew's family near Hamburg and sneak away to Istanbul for 3 nights over Spring Break.  Although the capital is Ankara, Istanbul is Turkey's largest city and claims over 13.5 million people!

Of course you can't go to Istanbul and not visit the famous Topkapi Palace, residence to 400 years of Ottoman sultans.  The Grand Harem used to hold the sultan's mother, consorts, concubines and their respective children, servants and the invaluable eunuchs who guarded the concubines.



Islam does not allow the portrayal of Allah or prophets so incredibly intricate tile mosaics developed.  The "Circumcision Room" was especially ornate.






We visited the impressive Blue Mosque and the Fatih Mosque.  No chairs, just carpets and low hanging lights.  Everyone takes their shoes off and women must be dressed modestly. We witnessed an attendant giving a lady a skirt to cover her tight leggings.  Outside, there's an area for the ritual foot wash.  We skipped that bit -- it was 12 degrees!




Several treasures lie under the city such as the Basilica Cistern, built in the 6th century to ensure a water supply to the Great Palace of Constantinople.  The albino carp seemed to draw as big a crowd as the towering columns.

There is an impressive 30 meter Egyptian obelisk which Emperor Constantius had made in Egypt to commemorate his 20th anniversary of power. The Obelisk of Theodosius got it's name when Emperor Theodosius transported it to Istanbul.



Of course, the Romans were here too as seen by the Valens aqueduct which was built in the 4th cenury to supply water to the Eastern Roman capital of Constantinople and runs right down the center of town.





Istanbul is also well-known for its crusader history. 

Hagia Sophia - First built in 537 as an Eastern Orthodox cathedral, the Hagia Sophia was then converted to a Roman Catholic cathedral and then, when the Ottoman Turks conquered Constantinople, it was again converted to a mosque and is now a museum.  All the beautiful golden mosaics were either removed or plastered over.  Luckily some have been rediscovered! 

Emperors were coronated on this spot!

  

Here's Andrew in front of the mighty Bosphorous, separating Europe from Asia.  It was strange knowing we were in a country bordering Armenia, Azerbaijan, Georgia, Greece, Bulgaria, Iran, Iraq and Syria.  Women wearing the full burka with just a mesh eye slit walked down the street past "western" Turks wearing short skirts.  It seems to work here although many have told us that as soon as you head out into the country, more traditional dress/conduct codes apply for women.  Thankfully, there were no political demonstrations during our trip.

Street Food - roasted chestnuts, shellfish and lemon, and Döner!  We had it from different places 3 days in a row.  To our surprise, the Döner here doesn't come with Fladenbrot.  Each time though, it included soggy fries.  Who knew?  

Andrew also enjoyed Turkish coffee

McDonalds delivers?

Ishtar Gate of Babylon in Istanbul's Archeology Museum.  Other gems included the massive, spectacular Alexander Sarcophagus which depicts Alexander the Great fighting the Persians.


Now as if Andrew were not hyperventilating enough, this museum also has the very first written international peace treaty.

No sneeze guards  

Countless varieties ofTurkish Delight

We checked out the Grand Bazaar and the Spice Bazaar.  So many new scents!

No Gideon Bibles in the hotels here...